As Winter begins to settle down for the season, I hope, I am filled with such a mix of emotions.

My grandmother passed away last week. Her nephew called me last night to let me know. I have to laugh: my phone number was on a post-it note on the page after my name in her address book. For the last few years she has walked through the dark land the doctors call "dementia". I am not saying they are wrong, but I believe she simply got tired of living each day without my grandfather. He was her North Star and it hurt her more than anyone will know when he left this life. I will not griecve for her passing. It was her time. I truly believe she is now a part of all the Universe.

Will I get anything? Her nephew assures me that he will try to get a quilt for me. That is all I really want, something that she created with her hands and her heart. I want something she put her energy into.

My son. He has challenged me more in the last few months than any other time in his life. Yesterday was one of those days where I wanted to scream for him to get out and never come back. I didn't, of course, but that's how angry and hurt I was by his actions. Are they important in the grand scheme of things? Perhaps. Perhaps not. It is not my place to say. Or to know.

I am excited about my new endeavour of Alina Shea Creations.  Dyeing yarn has really filled an empty spot in the art-loving side of me (oh, wait, that's all of me) and I love the way the colors soak into the creamy-white, twisted strands of possibility. Each skein I dye will become something. Whether it is a pair of socks or a lace shawl. That is why I feel I must really take care while I'm winding the yarn into skeins and presoaking them. And touching them with color. Yes, I really enjoy this.

That's it for now. I'm tired and fighting a dry cough. I'm feeling better than I was this morning and will feel better tomorrow. I look forward to warmer days and am holding the thought of Spring lightly in my heart.