... and all I want to do is boil water. Well, not exactly, but it's essentially the idea behind dyeing yarn.

I woke easily this morning with only a trace of dreams lingering. The last few nights have been filled with dreams that left me uneasy throughout the day. I can't even remember most of them, only that there were tornadoes in a couple of them. (Tornadoes represent violent energy of one sort or another, often it is emotions against which we feel powerless.) I've not figured them out yet, and I'm very tempted to just release them and not worry about them.

I am even more ready to move than I was before, but I'm still not quite ready financially. The yarn sales are slowly growing (I did get one more club member last month) and I'm very hopeful. I feel that as long as I continue selling top-notch yarns with cool colors, things will keep growing. And I try to tell myself to be patient.

But when I walk outside and feel the negative energy of this town, I feel such an urgent need to flee, it's almost visible. If I were to compare the way this town makes me feel with something in a book, I'd say Minas Morgul. Does that sound a bit extreme? Perhaps. But this place has been dragging me down for several years and now I feel at the end of the rope. I've explained this to some of my friends and they understand. Even though they will miss me when I leave, they are in full support of me going to another place that will bring me more peace. A place I can feel Home. Some of my other friends say they are in support of me, but then say things to sway my choice.I don't think they truly understand how deeply this place hurts me.

Inside my house there are mini altars set up in various rooms. I did this in an attempt to keep the darkness at bay. So far it has been working to keep this place a sanctuary. Whenever I feel my light dim I will refresh the flowers or candles or whatever is needed in that room. And I will continue meditation.

I know I'll get out of here, it's just a matter of being patient and focusing on getting my name out there for great yarns.