I caught myself waiting yesterday. Waiting with such a deep longing that I nearly cried. Strange, this feeling. What was I waiting for? Snow. I was waiting to marvel at the heavy, feathery snowflakes to cover the Earth with a blanket of sparkling, serene beauty. I was waiting for that hush that falls when the snow is covering everything with something pure and clean.

Late Autumn has been the hardest season for me to get through for several years. This is the time of year I can see the Earth as my own life. Stark, weary, tired and covered with the tattered, decaying remnants of Summer's life and vibrance. Filled with the death that comes every cycle. Filled with the emptiness that seems endless. It is reality laid bare for the whole world to see the failings and sorrows of Earth/Me.

Ah, but when the snow comes! Hiding all the bleakness and the ghosts of "no more". Softening the harsh landscape into gentle hills and valleys. Sharp edges are smoothed. Harsh realities are diffused. The light changes. The air changes. The very essense of the season changes. It is more natural to hibernate and to rest. It is time to look within and search for the glowing spark that will become a warming flame when Spring returns. It is time to sleep. To dream. To heal.

Has my life really been that bad lately? Bad enough for me to need that repite? No, my life is fairly steady. There have been some stumbles and I've nearly fallen, but I am still standing. I am still going strong. I think it is merely because I feel so much. The horror of a man being trampled by shoppers. The sorrow of people dying while they worship. The pain of children as their parents leave them in another state. The tears of those who don't know why their babies are dying because of the formula. The fear of a family as the jobs become more scarce and the savings dwindle. The anguish of a child when a loved one will not wake up. These are the things I need a rest from. These are the ones my heart cries out to and I know there is nothing I can do for them but pray. I can only light another candle and hope they find comfort or peace or a job or whatever they need most.