I sometimes ask myself, "Why do so many people only think about the near future?" So many people I come across seem to only see what is right now. The only horizon they see is tomorrow. But I'd like to know about the tomorrows after that.

K & I were having a discussion a few nights back and, as all our conversations do, we started with one topic and ended up on another that seemed completely unrelated (until you follow the thread back). Part of this convversation was about the state our planet is currently in - you know, global warming, trash disposal, etc. - and I was trying to get the point across that I think it will take a very long time to clean up the mess that we've made. He pointed out the changes that have already occurred such as not using DDT, cleaning up Lake Erie and other local waterways, and the end of radium dial watches.

While I agreed that these changes were good, I pointed out that the damage that we've already done will take a lot longer to clean up than a few decades. And that we are still causing damage. I gave the example of the yard next door. No one lives there now, but some people moved in about 6 years ago (I'm not exactly sure of when, I'll have to check with K) and they had several dogs... maybe 5 or 6. These people let their dogs "do their duty" in the back yard and rarely cleaned it up. By the time I moved into this house, (I think they'd been there 1 year) the stench was unbearable by midsummer (there is a large privacy fence between the 2 yards). Each month it got worse... to the point I stopped going out there to read or anything else except in the late spring and early summer (the snow helped clean away some of it.) Well, the people moved out a couple years ago (maybe 2½?). After 2 winters and no dogs at all, the smell is gone. I am curious about the soil itself: the nitrogen content, various bacteria that isn't normally found in soil, etc. Still, it is a great improvement. However, if the people would have continued living there, it would only get worse each year and the "toxins" would have leached deeper and deeper into the soil. Had they gotten rid of half of the dogs, the situation would still continue to get worse, but at a slower pace. Had they kept only 1 dog and cleaned up the messes on a regular basis, the yard would have improved.

So, as humans, where are we? I think we've kept all the dogs and are only cleaning up when we feel like it, so the condition is still getting worse. There is some clean up going on, but the damage is done, and continues. We can't just all leave the planet and hope it cleans itself up after a couple winters; we need to do as much as we can to help it along.

Someone reading this might think, "Yeah, yeah, go hug a tree. This isn't going to affect me." And I'd probably argue that it is already affecting you. Our grandparents drank water (Radithor) that contained radon. What do you think that did to your DNA? Why is there so much cancer in the world today? Why are people required to take vaccinnes that use mercury as a preservative? Why?

I'm in a bit of an argumentive mood so I could go on - but I won't. What will I do? I will continue making my own cleaning supplies, redirecting the water from my washing machine, avoiding as many plastics as I can and planting more trees each year (although I'm beginning to run out of space in my yard... I need a bigger place).

I'm a little angry today. Lady Dreamer was supposed to start her classes on August 25th, but we still haven't gotten her books! I can understand that they are using a new delivery process, but this should have all been settled long before school started. I have her working on a couple things anyway (she can work out of order in some classes) but everything else requires the books. Argh!

I canceled the two fiber clubs I belong to. That was hard for me. It was a lot of fun getting a surprise each month with the colors and such, but I just really want to get my debt a lot smaller. I am still leaving some money in my budget for crafts. Just not as much. Since the payments already went out, I will still get this month's fibers, but after that... I will be very choosey.

I finally have my Jeep down to $9,005.30. I knew that I'd have it that low by the end of summer, but it feels good to hear the CSR tell me anyway. I'd really hoped to put it up for sale this month, but with the way prices have been, the darn thing is worth even less than it was when I first came up with the idea. (Back in February it was listed at $9K, now it's only $4K!) Sometimes I wonder what my credit is really worth. Ah, well.

Today it actually feels like summer. The temperatures are in the upper 80s and it's very muggy. Funny thing about that? It's only going to be in the mid 70s tomorrow.

This has been a fascinating several days. K & I have had some really interesting conversations about everything ranging from politics & economics (yes, I did type that) to dark matter to reincarnation theories. We've been to an auction (my first) and browsed antique shops (I found a little cast iron stove I once had as well as lots of other toys I had). We had ice cream and played Uno. I found a wonderful gift to send to my Dad for Solstice this year and a cool gift for Sir Goth. I've stuck to my list and budget and still enjoyed my shopping sprees (most of them online). I swallowed my pride and chose a battle (supporting corporations vs. stock up my pantry). I've felt sorrow & trepidation for the people in Gustav's path and I've felt triumph in deterring a groundhog. And today, I am going to finish my spinning and knit outside for a while.

Yes, it has been a bit of a whirlwind and I don't really feel like I've slept enough, but I also feel alive and that counts for so much more than anything else.

Just around the corner is the first day of school. We are still waiting for the kids to get their books, but most of their lessons are online so I'm not really that worried yet. This year K will be helping Sir Goth with math. Yep, I don't do so well with the stuff in the books even though I know I perform algebraic computations on a regular basis (knitting designs). Once it's all on paper with the formulas and symbols it becomes Greek to me. Heck, Greek may be easier for me to learn.

The yard sale went well. We only made $16 but considering everything was only a quarter that was pretty good. Saturday evening I decided to put out a sign that said "Everything Free" and didn't really do much else. By Sunday evening the only remaining items fit into a kitchen trash bag. That bag is now in the back of my Jeep and is waiting for me to drop it off as the local Goodwill. Now I have a large clear spot in the furnace room. As soon as I get the ambition, I'll be heading back there to rearrange things to fit better.

On a side note: We've been trying various natural cat litters and I have to say - DON'T use the stuff that is made from corn! - it really smells gross after the cats have used it. Now, Lady Dreamer cleans out the box each morning, but even with that, there is this choking odor back there. It's not the smell of urine or feces, it's the litter itself. I'm very disappointed. We will be going back to S'wheat as soon as the paycheck arrives.

It's going to be a lovely day today. Highs might reach the mid-80s but I doubt I'll need to turn on the a/c. It was downright chilly this morning when I began opening the windows. Even now it is still only 58°F. No complaints here other than how strange it feels.

It's a little bit strange waking up and feeling like I need warmer clothing before I get out of bed. It's the middle of August! Where are the hot summer days? What does this mean for winter?

 Still, the quiet of the dawn soothes me.

Well, I've come to the decision for the name I will be changing to. I will not be announcing it until I am ready and then everyine will know about the same time. I'm still not sure how I'm going to accomplish that since everyone's in a different timezone, but I have an idea on how to make it work.

I've also had some interesting thoughts about my living situation. Some of this has already been discussed with the person it may involve and it certainly needs a lot more discussion, but the basic idea is this: I am perfectly capable of making it on my own. No assistance, no help, no safety net. I've been doing it. Perhaps not as well as someone else might do in my situation, but as well as I can at this point in my life. I used to feel this driving need to "show the world" that I didn't need anyone. Well, I did just that. I didn't need anyone for a very long time. I still don't. Although I've accepted some help this month (the state goofed up one of my billing sheets, which means a reduction in this month's check... to be remedied with the next one), I still could have made it without that help. Things just might happen a little faster if the situation was changed a bit. But that is still only a possibility and may not even happen.

Does all that sound a bit cryptic? Perhaps, but that's the way I am sometimes.

~~~

Did you know it is August? Summer? Swimsuit season? Hottest time of the year? That's what I keep telling myself, but when I woke up this morning the temperature was only 54°F (12°C)! What's up with that? I needed a long sleeved shirt inside the house! Very strange. But it gives me a little more incentive to make the window solar heaters. Hopefully we won't need them for a few more months, but it would be nice if they are ready to use on the first day we need them.

I'm doing more and more to conserve energy around here. The kids still complain about hanging up their laundry, but I can definately see a difference in the electric bill. We've also been draining the water from the washer out into the yard. I don't see the water bill, but I'm sure there is a difference between last year and this. I should ask J about it the next time I see him. There are still so many things to work on, but I am getting there, a little at a time.

I'm going to try having another yard sale next weekend. I really need to get rid of the stuff we have set aside in the back room. I think I'll just put everything out there for a quarter each and, even though I may not make a lot of money, at least I'll get rid of some of this stuff. What I don't sell this time, I'll take down to Goodwill or something. It's almost as if, by having that stuff cluttering up that part of the house, the rest of the house "wants" to be cluttered as well.

I made my first attempt at natural dyeing today. Not quite what I was hoping for, but it was fun.

Well, time to start my evening "routine". I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Ok, I don't follow the news - that's nothing new. I do my best to avoid the horror of what is usually portrayed in the newspapers and the televisions. I glance over the headlines online and don't click on the stories. Once in a while I will click on something and read a brief article (sometimes to my own dismay), but for the most part my friends don't bring up the world events and I do not ask.

Is my head in the sand? By some people's standards: yes. By my standards: no. Why did I make the choice to avoid the news? Because I can not change what is there. I can not take back the gang-related stray bullet that killed an 8 year-old girl while she lay sleeping in the safety of her bed. I can not take back the bullet that killed a young teenager while she was in her own back yard. I can not undo the rape/abuse/neglect of countless women and children. I can not unkill the people who are killed in the name of religion. I can not feed the millions/billions of people who are starving. I can not re-freeze the ice shelf and put it back where it belongs. I can not close the hole in the ozone. And when I used to watch the news, I knew that "I can not" and... my heart would break and my friends would only see sorrow in my eyes. My children only heard my tears.

So, I no longer follow the news. Because now I focus on my life; children, gardening, creating cherished items from textiles, learning new things, laying aside old things, loving my friends, letting go of my hatreds, watching the seasons of life/death, enhancing my own Spirituality, dreaming about the future and smiling about the past. Now, my friends hear passion in my voice when I have a great idea. My children hear my laughter. I like it this way. There may be no tomorrow for me. I could die tonight. I'm ok with that. Because I will be remembered, not as someone who carried the burden of the world, but as someone who found joy in the simple pleasures of life. Not as someone who was heartbroken about the changes she couldn't make, but someone who loved the changes she brought about.

~~~~~

Now there's this election coming up. I don't read all the articles, but I know who's running. I know what their views are. Do I believe each candidate is being honest about where they stand? No, not really. I do wish I could combine them into one being to represent what I want. I like some of both of the "main guys" -

• Barrack Obama's positions: abortion, teacher-led prayers, free trade vs, fair trade, Patriot Act (a little privacy here, people).
• John McCain's positions: gun ownership, 3-strikes rule, Social Security privatization, taxes.

Each of these issues are important to me. So, if I were to vote, who would I vote for? Good question.

I clicked on a link this morning about a Women's Right Convention held in downtown Sandusky on Saturday. I was interested to know how it turned out. The article was brief and told about the speakers. Not bad.

Then I began reading the comments. I was shocked to see the stupidity of some of the people who chose to comment. There were comments about Kim Nuesse's hair, easy women, crude jokes about women, and other crap. Is this truly what our children are going to have to deal with forever? I try to raise my kids to have respect for people regardless of their gender or race. But I refuse to teach them to respect stupidity.

I'm beyond pissed at this moment. I want to know why. Why, after these years of gaining a better equality are we still putting up with people trying to bring women down? Why are there still people out there who feel its a threat to have strong women in our society?

There is no "perfect society" to look forward to, but I have been hoping for a better one. These comments just point out that we still have so far to go.

Does anything taste better than a tomato, freshly picked from your garden, still warm from the sun? I don't think so. I ate one of our tomatoes yesterday and it was lovely.

I have a 3-day weekend starting today. To celebrate, I am packing up my knitting and my kids and dragging a friend to the beach. I don't like the beach, and I don't think I ever really will. But, Lady Dreamer loves the beach and has been asking me for a while if we could go. Why do I keep saying, "No"? Well, work schedule, weather, driving out there, gas... Lots of excuses, but what it boils down to is that she's a Water person, I'm not. I would prefer going into the woods and listening to the wind in the branches above my head. I don't like the sandy, smelly, gull-infested beaches around here. Or, just about anywhere. However, I love her and we are going.

I'm going to sell my Aerogardens. Why? Because they just aren't what I thought they would be. The herbs did great, but the tomatoes just don't taste as amazing as the ones from the yard. Not only that, but the AGs just aren't big enough. I need something that will feed us through the Winter and these just won't do it. I'll be starting out with a few hydroponic ideas, including something with fish in the bottom (interesting nutrient cycle if I can get it to work right). Anyway, I already have an offer from a woman in New York and will be sending one of them out on Monday.

Serephina seems to be much more loving than she was before she was spayed. Before, when she was about to go into heat, or when she was really scared, she would crawl into our laps and purr, meow and knead us. Now she does it several times a day. She's also growing. I can't tell if it's because she's just gaining weight or if she's really growing. Time will tell, but it does seem that her head is larger, not just her belly.

Well, I have a little time to knit before getting ready to go.

What is it about the early part of the day that appeals to my soul? Is it the freshness of the air, unspoiled and new? Is it the silence of the Earth, just beginning to awaken? Or is it knowing that I'm one of the only ones awake to enjoy this quiet solitude?

I do not know, but waking early makes me a much happier person.

Warning: this entry contains profanity and a very biased opinion. If you don't like it, I don't really care.

I was reading an article on Treehugger.com and got pretty mad about the related links. Basically, the blame for obesity can be placed on the government, architecture, US cities and cheap gas! Wow, what a relief that the people who refuse to walk anywhere, sit on the couch and watch talk shows, eat junk food and otherwise indulge in high fat/low movement activities are not the ones to blame for their own overweight status.

Bull shit!

Do I know that there are people who truly can't help their size? Yes, I do know that chemical imbalances in the body such as disease and other sorrows can lead to obesity. I'm not talking about those people. I'm referring to the people who eat at fast food places a few times a week and sit at home watching American Idol or some other mindless waste of time. I'm referring to the people who don't touch fruits or vegetables other than what is sitting on their triple-decker cheesburger and biggie fries. I'm talking about the people who drive ¼ mile to the store to buy ice cream. I'm talking about the people who are diabetic and still eat the things they aren't supposed to, then complain that they aren't getting better.

I am most definately not thin and trim. BUT, I do not place the blame anywhere but where it belongs: ME.

I'm pretty tickled right now. I got my new spinning wheel yesterday and even had a little time to try it out. I have learned that I spin too tightly, but I think that's because I'm still learning. I also know that I love my spindles in a different way than the wheel.

More and more I yearn to get out of this town. I want to live far enough away from civilization that I can be left alone and still be close enough to go into town if I feel like it. I can feel myself growing impatient with the stack of debt that I know needs to be paid off first. The biggest one is the Jeep. I thought about selling it by the end of summer, but with the gas prices the way they are, it looks like I'm stuck with it for a while. I'm still trying to set aside money for emergencies and such, but I'm also paying extra on everything else when I can. I keep thinking that I could have used the money from the spinning wheel to pay something else down and be done with it. I know that would have been the logical thing to do. Well, there isn't anything left for me to get. I've already sworn off new yarn purchases until Samhain. I am still part of the fiber club but that's the only new stuff I'm getting from here on out. So, no regrets on the wheel. Enjoy it and move onward.

I'm supposed to be getting a new scale soon (free after membership, which I will cancel after the scale arrives). That will make it a lot easier to mail off the Tat-Stick samples. I haven't done that in nearly a month. I'm not really sure what happened, but the passion for it has gone down a lot. Come to think of it, the passion has gone down for a lot of things. I didn't even creat a garden this year. Just some tomatoes in pots and the Aerogardens (which I still haven't gotten any tomatoes from, so I don't know how they will taste.) I wonder why... I'll have to think about that when I am left alone for longer than five minutes.

Well, I need to get going so I have some time to knit or something before the kids get here.

Oh, the joys and stresses of being a parent. Sir Goth went camping with his friend's family this weekend. They left Friday morning and he was driven back Saturday morning. He ended up cutting his hand with his knife and actually required seven stitches. I was a bit perturbed over the fact that they had to drive so far to bring him back and cut into their own weekend. He was upset that he was missing the canoeing and the hay ride. Another lesson learned.

We had Lady Dreamer's celebration on Saturday evening. Once again, her friend was grounded. Now, this girl is not a bad girl. Nor is she overly rebellious or disrespectful. I don't know what is going on, but it seems that grounding is the only form of punishment that is used and it gets used for every infraction. Grr. Anyway, she loved the pottery wheel. I am glad for that and if she continues loving it, I may get her a nicer one for Winter Solstice. I realized that there are many different mediums she can use with this wheel, including the paper "clay" the daycare kids used to make their handprints.

We had raccoons the other night! It was so cool to see three little ones and their mom by my bedroom window. I don't know if they will come back and I will most likely wish that they hadn't, but I do love the creatures up here. Even in town we have groundhogs (yeah, I know there are a few out there saying "Eeeww! Kill it!" but it's cool watching the babies grow), raccoons, blue jays, snakes, rabbits and lots of other interesting stuff. I could do without the opossums, but you have to take them all if you want any.

I'm still a little bit "up-in-the-air" about moving into an RV. With things going the way they are, I think I should put my money into a piece of land instead. I'm still hoping for the Wallace farm to come through, but if it doesn't... I need to decide where I want to end up. I've been doing a lot of reading about how to utilize your land the best way (such as rotating crops & pastures). There is so much for me to learn.

Why are we doing this?

Whenever I think of the families of the troops over there, my heart wants to weep. I know it is their duty, but the nights are long and children are growing.

Well, my work day is over. The girls left a little while ago and I will have the next 3 days off. The only one here is Lady Dreamer and she wants to spend the weekend watching "Charmed". I want to spend the weekend spinning and knitting. I don't know what we will be doing about the whole fireworks issue but we will figure something out, even if it's just sparklers in the back yard or something like that.

I've been thinking about the whole "patriotic" thing lately. I know I've talked about it a little with some of my friends, but I don't think I've ever put it on here.

I'm not the kind to wear the Old Navy flag shirts, or have a flag waving from my car, or any of those things. But I know that I am very patriotic. After all, I actually enjoy many of the freedoms I have in this country: I am self-employed, a Pagan, homeschool my kids, choose not to subscribe to cable, choose not to be consumeristic, vote/don't vote as I see fit, get tattooed, educate myself, choose not to be educated, I speak out against the government and stand up for some of it... and a lot of other things.

I'm in a funky mood and some of it is very anti-male. I think I need to get off here and spin some more wool. (I do wish my spinning wheel was here, but if it doesn't show today, it won't be here until Monday or Tuesday.)

Serephina is much better this morning. Yesterday was her appointment to get spayed and it was nerve wracking for me to leave her there at the vet. I know, it's better for her to get fixed for health reasons and lots more. But she's just a little thing and so much can go wrong. Luckily, this morning I only have two kids here and they are pretty mellow, so I know she will have a little more time to heal before the younger children get here.

J stopped by yesterday afternoon and said the living room flooor looks "pretty good". Coming from him, I think that's a pretty good compliment. I don't know him very well, but he seems very quiet most of the time. But, he's a good guy.

I did a lot of spinning yesterday. I wanted to finish the Corriedale - Fallen.

Anyway, I want to get ready for my day.

I woke this morning at 4:00. Why? I'm not sure, but it seems my body is needing less sleep lately. I did, however, make myself go back to sleep since I knew I had a lot more physical activity to do today. I don't think I moved the whole night since I woke up a little stiff this morning.

Yesterday, I got permission from J (landlord) to remove the carpet in the livingroom and clean up the linoleum underneath. I don't think he really wanted to let me, but I told him all the good things about it: he wouldn't have to do it himself, he wouldn't have to pay for a new carpet, it would be easier to keep clean, etc. Finally he agreed and let me know that he would be off work on Thursday and he could help. I asked him if I could just do it this weekend since I didn't have any kids here. I think he was a bit relieved to not have to do the work since it's the busy season at CP.

So, yesterday Sir Goth and a couple of his friends removed the furniture, carpet and padding while I ran to the store. I'd only expected them to be done with the furniture when I got back so it was a nice surprise. After that, I had dinner and K helped me remove the staples and nails from the flooring. And he provided ice cream (very important). He couldn't stay that long since he had to be at work early today, so I began the clean up after he left. I have to say - dirt that's been under a carpet for 10/15+ years is REALLY packed down. Lady Dreamer and I were scrubbing, scraping, soaking and mopping for nearly 2 hours and we still didn't get it all up. Finally, I mixed a strong solution of washing soda and water and mopped/splashed it all over the remaining dirty spots and we showered & went to bed.

I really like the way the floor looks. Well, aside from the remaining dirt. It is a brick style design called "Basketweave" and reminds me of the courtyards back in Phoenix. I've decided to see if J will let me paint the trim in the room as well to make it more sandstone colored. Most people would think this is an odd pattern for a livingroom but, I think it will look like a garden room or something similar. I'm even going to move my mister in there to spruce it up a bit. I'd even put in a little garden bench if I can find one.

I still have a lot to get done in there, but I hope everyone has a great day.

After spending several days being in a snarkier than normal mood, I'm back. I guess. This has been a strange couple of weeks. The post office seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer living here. So three packages and at least one letter was returned to sender. No big deal, I contacted the companies and the packages were re-sent and I talked to the lady at CSEA and she re-sent the letter. But it was a big deal. One package was yarn that was going to be used in a Mystery Shawl KAL. One package had t-shirts that were organic cotton and said "seek balance" on them and one package was my Spunky Club fiber (still waiting for that one). And I had to explain to each person that I was still here and to please re-ship. It was a hassle that was unnecessary. As for the letter from CSEA, it was very important stuff that I need to return within a certain amount of time.

I've had a ridiculous amount of allergy symptoms lately. I haven't even been wearing make-up! Granted, I don't really wear a lot to begin with, but that little bit of liner and mascara made a big difference. Finally this morning I broke down and bought some Quercetin and local bee pollen. I'll be starting over with the doses of bee pollen (was up to 1tsp/day) since this stuff is from this area. I don't want to overload myself with the stuff. Basically I will take the Quercetin (a natural anti-histamine) as directed, a couple granules of bee pollen and lots of fluids. I'll increase the pollen while on the Quercetin so that I am not bombarded with "suffering" and after reaching the "normal" dose of pollen, I'll decrease the Q.

I have noticed that my eyes are really blue sometimes. Sometimes they look very green, but I can't figure out why. It isn't the clothes I wear since the eyecolor changes throughout the day, while the clothing remains the same.

I turned away a potential client. She called me last week to get things set up, and told me she would bring her son that afternoon. Then didn't show up. She finally called the next day to set up a time to meet with me and said she'd be here in the morning, then didn't come until after 5:00. After telling me about her son's medical issues, I thought about it and decided not to take him. I just don't think it's a good idea to have a child with asthma suddenly placed where there are 2 cats, lots of flowers and lots of open windows. She tried telling me that it was no big deal and that he was usually pretty good with his inhaler, but after reading all the tips on Lung USA, I decided that I didn't want to risk his health.  Yes, it means she will have to continue looking and yet it means no extra money for me, but I would rather know that I'm not potentially causing him more harm. After all, if my own allergies are as bad as they have been, how bad would his reactions be?

Our weather is a bit wonky lately (who's isn't?). Tomorrow, our high is only supposed to reach 66° while last week it was over 95°!

A lot of things have been going through my mind lately. Mostly about going on the road. With things changing everywhere, I'm wondering if I should be sinking my money into property instead of a motor home. I'm a bit torn about so many things lately that have to do with my kids, the world, my business, etc. But I'm also still trying to enjoy all the good stuff.

I will be buying a spinning wheel this month. I wasn't going to, but I found a good price and know that it will be the right one for me. It is essentially unfinished and I will be adding my own little touches to it. I'm very excited over it, but I know that I won't give up my spindles. They are so portable and easy to take everywhere.

We went to Cedar Point on Saturday. K bought the tickets and we even got to bring ML. She and Lady Dreamer had a great time.  I finally got to see the glass-blowers! It was amazing watching them take a blob of goop and make something beautiful with it. I also finally rode the Mantis. I was terrified while we were in line, but the ride was very smooth. Even the upside down parts weren't that bad. Mostly, K & I walked around, went on a couple rides, watched a couple shows, sat & talked and just took it easy. It was one of the more enjoyable trips to CP.

Well, the day is passing and I have some knitting to do.

A particulary bitchy bit of a rant:

It seems to me that this whole world is making things more and more geared to dumb us all down. No one is required to think anymore. What does that mean for our future? What about people who actually enjoy figuring something out for that feeling of accomplishment? What is going to happen to them?

"What the hell is she talking about?" you might ask. Look at the cords on your computer. Chances are, the headphone jack is color coded with green so you know which jack to use, your mouse (if its standard) actually has a small mouse design on it to match the one on the back of your pc. Same with the keyboard. There are dessert kits that only require a tablespoon of water and you pop it into the microwave. Dinner kits that only require that you open the cans & bags, then pour it all into one pan & put it in the oven. You don't need to read the books anymore, there will be a movie out soon. Want your blog to look special? Drag & drop the parts and pictures and voilá! it looks great.  See? Nothing to stretch your brain with.

The other day I saw a "Sock Blank". A what? I had to check it out and discovered that it is a machine knit rectangle that you can dye in stripes, then unravel the rectangle to knit your socks. It's to "take the guesswork out of dyeing self-striping sock yarn". Now, while this would be great for a Girl Scout troop, daycare craft, etc, I wouldn't think this would really help someone learn about the techniques of dyeing yarn. Now, I love this company, in fact most of my yarn comes from them, but why enable ignorance? Why not help more people learn about how to make the appropriate stripes? Or, better yet, why not help them discover their own style? I realize the drive behind the idea - help more people get interested (and money) - but why make it to where they don't even have to think?

On several forums, I see people all take the same information and many of them will type comments that basically mean, "I don't get it." I look at the instructions, and all the other comments that clarify the original instructions, and the detailed explanation about how exactly to do whatever technique and wonder if the people who don't get it are either 1) too lazy to read all the stuff posted; or 2) too dumb to really get it.

Now, I'm not the most knowledgeable person. I still mis-spell half the time, I struggle with anything beyond basic algebra, and I have a hard time staying focused on text books. But I can figure out how to do stuff with a few simple instructions. I don't usually need a step-by-step walk-through to get me to where I'm going. I'm raising my kids the same way - I'll give them a little bit of direction, then step back to let them figure out the details.

Ok, end of rant.

I'm in a strange funk today. For the most part things are going along fine, then something will strike me and I'm ready to go off on someone.  No one in particular. I feel especially snarky and the sarcasm is practically dripping from my skin. What could it be? Allergies (which I will never scoff at again)? Weather? Hunger? I don't really know.

Yes, I've been dreaming again. This isn't the first time I've dreamed that Arya-Satya bit someone. This time it was Serephina. All her toes on one paw were gone. In my dream I knew that I would have to kill Arya-Satya and even called the guy who wants to take her. I also dreamed about some men confronting me about something. In my dream my voice didn't work well, but I was trying to let them know that I would shoot them if they didn't leave me alone. Then I had to follow through.

These are only repeats of past dreams. Different content. Different settings. Same dreams. Same emotions.

There seems to be a feeling of "disconnect" lately. At times I feel so close to Spirit. Other times I can't feel the Presence anywhere. What the hell is going on? I don't think its just me, either. There are other who feel the same. "Faithless" was one word used. Perhaps it is a way for us to continue growing without the "crutch" of using Goddess or God or Spirit, to focus.

I just don't know.